It's True, I Smell Better Than You

Don't wash your clothes in the dirty old town fountain.If someone in the room smells bad, it’s not me.

I know that sounds like a statement that a smelly person would make, but I’m being honest.  Two people – at two different times – mentioned the way I smelled today.  In a good way.

Time #1:

On Tuesday afternoons, the schools drama club rehearses their play.  Since it’s in English, I help them with their pronunciations.  Last year, they didn’t win the annual competition because they were marked down heavily for their accents.  They were very insulted at the way a Hungarian – with a heavy accent in English - criticized them.  It won’t happen again.  I’m here and I smell good.

Oh yes, that’s what I was talking about, my smell.  I was sitting in the small theater where they practice, and I was next to one of the English teachers from the school.  At one point, she said “Alex, do you use [something that I can’t remember] when you do laundry?”

Pause.  Do I smell?  I just took a shower, and these clothes are clean – pretty much.

She then explained that it’s some sort of thing (fabric softener, maybe?) that you add to the wash at a certain point.  I obviously still don’t understand what it is, but I at least realized she was giving me a compliment on smelling good!

Time #2:

I had dinner at the restaurant that I like.  It’s no secret that I can’t understand most of what the waitress says to me, but that doesn’t stop her from having big conversations.  Tonight, we talked about many topics including, but not limited to:  What “waka waka “ means – she was disappointed it’s not English.  A pretty awesome Hungarian game show where people had to run up ramps covered in vasoline.  Winter, fall, spring, summer, and the moon.

And how I smell.  She said something to me that I didn’t understand – what a shock.  It was something like Ariel, but it’s unlikely she’s saying I look like the little mermaid.  We both have red hair, but my lower half isn’t a fish.

She then tried to explain it by touching the sleeve of her sweater.  My guesses weren’t successful.  She tried pulling on the sleeve.  Still didn’t get it.  Then she rubbed the material together.

Suddenly, I remembered my earlier conversation and the light bulb clicked on!  Ariel is a laundry detergent!  She was saying I smell good!  I just used four exclamation points in one paragraph!

Here’s the moral of the story, you should wash your clothes in the sink.  If you’re in a hurry and don’t have time to give them a good rinse, people will complement you.  It’s that easy.

Here’s the moral of the story if you’re the teacher whose desk is behind mine in the teachers room, you should wash your clothes – period.  Every time she’s in the room I know it.  She makes me think I need to shower, but I just turn around and realize she smells bad enough for both of us.


The good stuff.Hungarian word of the day:


Pronounced Moshe – ohh- pour.  It means (I think) laundry detergent.  I don’t know the word because always just buy the soap that has a picture of clothes on it.  Judging by my day, this is a successful method.